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Thicker than water


“Come on go and read your books! When I was like you, I was more focused and will never be seen sticking to phone like you” She would always scream with the same voice that indicates obvious scolding. She is my elder sister, my coach, my grand commander and controller, second to mummy whose orders I dare not disobey.

She always claimed that the social media never distracted her academics and the only time she used her phones were the times she needed academic help from her female friends. She defended herself with the claim that the times she spent on different websites were to gather information about the university she wanted for her university education.

She criticized my use of “2go” and claimed that facebook was enough for me any other extension would be synonymous to extremism.


Her comments were always annoying especially when she made them in the presence of my parents, home lesson teachers or after coming home with a bad result at the end of the term as usual.

She was the primary antagonist when my parents decided to buy me a phone as a gift to mark my 13th birthday. She claimed she never had that opportunity at that tender age and that I was too young.

If I had my way, I wouldn’t have needed any battle with my conscience to poison her or even go through diabolic means.


She was actually correct. The phone wasn’t of any help to me. I was enjoying myself and wasting my precious time. My playlist was a blessing and I knew every secular lyric back to back.

Another lucrative part of it was the numerous girls I met on 2go. I met a new girl everyday either on a group chat or when a generous friend shares one with me. They were very interesting set of friends and luckily enough, our power supply was favourable at that time.


There was this particular one with the username “preetydamsel12”. She was shared with me by a friend I met during summer holiday lesson. He told me a lot about the girl and the biggest thing thing he mentioned was the intensity of her generosity and this spurred my interest the most.


Time passed and we fell in love though we hadn’t seen ourselves before. I fell for her generosity; she had sent nothing less than a thousand naira worth of recharge cards and about 5000 go credit (the legal tender for group chats on 2go).

We kick started talks on how we would meet ourselves in person. Fortunately for me, she coincidentally was also a resident of my estate.

We agreed to meet but I objected to her idea of coming over to my place because of the fear of my sister and my parents. She also complained of a stalky brother who would report her to her parents if he spotted any bit of suspicion or unclean movement.

We decided to shift our base to one of her friend’s house in the same estate. The description she gave was very familiar and I approached the building with excitement and serious will to see my beautiful Samaritan 2go girl.

I called her phone immediately I got to the front of the building she directed me to. She instructed me to enter the house and then meet her at a corner in between the gate man’s house and the dog’s house. I opened the gate immediately and entered the house.

To my greatest surprise, I saw my very own “bookish art thou” sister waiting for me “her supposed dream guy” at the described corner. I was scared but when I discovered how disappointed she was in herself, my confidence began to metastasize but the level of my bewilderment was still at its climax.

Not even in my wildest dreams would I think of seeing my sister chat on 2go talk less of being wooed by a guy. That was the height of it. What else is thicker than water?

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